Martin (John Amplas), a young man who looks around 20-years-old, boards a train in Indianapolis, Indiana for New York. At night, he breaks into a sleeping car and sedates a woman with a syringe full of narcotics. She struggles, but he tells her not to struggle or be upset because she wont feel pain. After a few minutes, the woman falls asleep, and Martin has sex with the unconscious woman. Afterwards, he slices her wrists with a razor blade so he can drink her blood. The woman bleeds to death in her sleep.
In the morning, the train stops in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania where Martin disembarks. He is met by Tata Cuda (Lincoln Maazel) an elderly and hostile old man who claims to be his cousin from the Old World. Together, they travel by another train to the town of Braddock, a dying industrial suburb. They walk to Cuda's large house where he shows Martin his living quarters. Cuda then accuses Martin of being an 84-year-old vampire from his old country. He has taken in Martin because he is family, but tells him, "First I will save your soul. Then I shall destroy you." Martin denies being a vampire and implies that Cuda is merely his uncle rather than his cousin. Cuda then puts up strings of garlic on the doors to his and his granddaughter's room, and then holds up a small cross when Martin approaches him. Martin takes away the cross, and even takes a bite of the garlic mocking these attempts by saying bitterly, "There's no real magic... ever". Cuda tells Martin that he can come and go as he pleases. But he also warns Martin that he will kill him if he kills anyone in Braddock. He also tells Martin to stay away from his granddaughter Christine (Christine Forrest), whom arrives home from her job that evening.
Cuda introduces Christine to Martin, but also warns her to stay away from him. But Christine instead strikes up a friendship with Martin who confides in her about his vampire heritage. When Cuda later confirms Martin's claims to be a vampire, Christine, not surprisingly, refuses to believe either one. She thinks that Cuda and the other members of her family have driven Martin to insanity by making him think that he is a vampire. It is never revealed if Martin really is a vampire, or just a shy and lonely youth with troubled issues. Christine is the only person that Martin gets the courage to talk to. When Christine's boyfriend Arthur (Tom Savini) arrives at the house for dinner, Martin stops talking and backs away despite Arthur's attempt at a conversation. Christine later confides in Martin that she hopes to leave Braddock someday with Arthur, even though Martin points out that Arthur treats her badly and is both verbally and physically abusive towards her.
When Christine sees that Martin won't talk to anyone else, she buys him a phone which he installs in his room. Martin begins to repeatingly call a radio talk show where he describes what it's like to be a vampire. He becomes known on the radio as "the Count" to all the listeners. But the patronizing host (Michael Gornick) thinks he's just crazy.
Martin gets a job at Cuda's grocery store of stocking shelves, hauling boxes around, and even gets to be a delivery boy for some of the customers. One of his customers is a certain Abby Santini (Elyane Nadeau), who becomes taken in with Martin. She is a very friendly young woman who is depressed when she tells Martin that her husband is unfaithful. But Martin still does not have the nerve to talk with her, so she is happy to have someone to confide in with her life problems. Martin phones the radio show host to describe his infatuation with the housewife and senses that she wants to have sex with him. When the radio show host asks Martin if it is a sexual problem that he has involving women criticizing him during sex, Martin replies that he has never had sex with a woman who was awake.
One day, Martin travels by train to outside Braddock to look for victims. At a supermarket, he follows a young woman (Sarah Venable) home to her posh suburban house. He sees the woman's husband (Richard Rubenstein) leave for a long business trip, and Martin decides this would be the right time for more feeding. Martin returns to the house after dark and breaks in through the garage door. But it is Martin who gets the surprise when he bursts into her bedroom to find her in bed with her adulterous lover Lewis (Al Levitsky). After a vicious struggle, Martin jabs both of them with hyprodermic needles with narcotics, and waits for the drugs to take affect. He drags the unconscious body of Lewis from the house to a clump of trees across the street where he kills him by shoving a broken tree branch into his neck and drinks his blood. Martin returns to the house where he has sex with the unconscious woman. But out of compassion and pity, he decides to let her live.
Martin begins to have romantic monochrome visions of his vampire past (real or imagined), where he drained blood from a young woman and was chased through the streets of a nameless European town by a torch-lit mob.
During one Sunday at church, Cuda brings home Father Howard (George A. Romero) who asks him about the possibility of exorcism and demon possession. Father Howard calls upon the elderly Father Zulemans (Clifford Forrest, Jr.) over at Cuda's request. Together, Cuda and Zulemans confront Martin his bedroom and attempt to perform an exorcism on him. At this point, Martin remembers (another real or imaginary flashback), in the Old Country of people trying to perform an exorcism on him, and he flees them. Martin then flees from Cuda and Zuelmas as well. A little later that night, Martin terrorizes Cuda in a children's playground when he puts on a Dracula cape and puts false fangs into his mouth to pretend that he really is a vampire.
One day, Martin finally musters the courage to talk with Mrs. Santini during a routine delivery to her house where he tells her that he's aware of her attempts to seduce him and wants now to have sex with her. After having sex for the first time, Mrs. Santini becomes more depressed for she tells Martin that her husband just left her because she discovered that she cannot bear children, and that her desires towards him are based on sex and nothing else. But Martin wants to stay with her and help her move on with her life. Martin tells the radio show host about his affair with the housewife and that he no longer has the urge to attack other women.
Meanwhile, Arthur meets with Cuda and tells him that he wants Christine to leave town with him so they can get married and start a family. But Christine becomes angry at Cuda when he tells Arthur that insanity runs in their family and he shouldn't consider having children with her. Shortly afterwards, Christine packs up and leaves Braddock for New York with Arthur despite Martin telling her that Arthur is abusive towards her. But her mind is made up. Before leaving, Christine tells Martin that she really has no ill feelings towards him and just wants to make a fresh start with her life. She says goodbye to him and promises to write. But Martin knows that with an abusive and possessive man in Christine's life, she probably won't.
Depressed over losing his one true friend, Martin phones the radio show host and tells him that he's getting "shaky" and wants to go out looking for more victims. That night, Martin travels to a rough crime-ridden area of Pittsburgh and attacks two derelicts in a alley, injecting them with narcotics. He kills one of them by silting the bum's wrist and drinking his blood. Martin is about to kill the second one when a police car shows up and gives chase. Martin narrowly escapes during a long chase on foot which leads from the garbage strew streets and through a local store. Martin runs into an old warehouse where a drug deal is going down. A shootout between the two cops and the three thugs begins where all of them are killed, leaving Martin as the sole survivor who casually walks away from the carnage.
One day, Martin finds Mrs. Santini dead in her bathtub, after she had slit her writs with a razor blade. Martin anonymously calls the police to report the body and leaves. He phones the radio show host one final time to say that he really doesn't need friends or people to talk to for he is his own person. But when Cuda learns about Mrs. Santini's suicide, is mistakenly thinks Martin killed her and made it look like a suicide as he's done before. Cuda walks into Martin's room while he is asleep and kills him by hammering a wooden stake through Martin's heart.
Cuda buries Martin's body in his back garden, while over the closing credits various voices from people are heard talking to the radio show host asking the whereabouts of "the Count".
滔滔不绝喋喋不休有如侯麦附体，但有些时刻又能看到杨德昌的影子，上海人均中产小资的岁月静好悠然自得的生活，相爱相亲的邻里关系也可以算是上海的城市宣传片。但哥萝莉呀这个角色不太立得住，美貌多金的富婆，为何要痴迷于发福的中年大叔?白老师那点才艺，美院的小鲜肉一抓一大把呢~这个角色除了出来陪笑逗趣也没别的作用了。说着要断舍离的李小姐，回头却又帮白老师联系画廊并约咖啡，不相信爱情神话的人，却亲手编织了一个爱情童话，她只是“短暂地不爱白老师一下”?还是编导为了追求戏剧效果而硬设的转折?整体更像是舞台剧探讨的主题，而不是在电影院里让我纳闷的片子。电影还没放完就开始说话，吃东西?TMD!不可饶恕!
也就还好吧，虚无缥缈的感觉，营销吊足了人的胃口，看完感觉也就一般，上海的小资，整体更像是话剧的感觉，倪虹洁真灵啊，李小姐和老白后续还会败给现实，
观看的时候，笑的神经的确有被调动，也呈现了近几年华语电影里松弛有加的人物形象，已算是相当奢侈的创作。但这种趣味性和地域的关系有多大，是存疑的。就像国际学校、混血儿、懂得Jimmy Choo的小皮匠……这些符号在多大程度上构成上海的特质，也是需要被讨论的。法租界成为一个容器，承载人们对城市的想象，在电影框架内构成一个过于简化却行之有效的逻辑。
老乌口述与索菲亚罗兰德韵事，我的心情就和在一旁听着的Gloria一样，一时不知道是真的还是假的，该哭还是该笑。果然都是满嘴跑火车的生物群体啊！
调调，节奏，故事感和生活感都调和的恰到好处，多一分做作匠气，少一分俗套琐碎，难得的正是不知有意无意间呈现出的又拙又巧的lovely。给人带来的观影愉悦感在个人匮乏的词库中找不到合适的形容词，可能就是上海人说的又灵又嗲吧。
能看得出来很努力在这个中年人的故事里塞了很多针对年轻观众的糖了，但还是吃不下去，两场餐桌戏都很精彩，可惜支撑不住过长的对话，实在太做作了，浪漫症发作也不过如此了。
“一个女人没有生过孩子是不完整的。一个女人没有造过一次反、没有赚过一百万才是不完整的。”
讲自己“不过是犯了全世界男人都会犯的错”的蓓蓓，称自己“老公失踪，有钱有闲，状态最好”的格洛瑞亚，把自己两万块的Jimmy choo说成是两百块只为让男主不要过于愧疚的李小姐，三个女人的一台戏足够精彩。女性即使年轻不再也依旧可以浪荡潇洒，魅力四射，以自己的方式谱写自己的爱情神话。
俏皮，呵呵呵。可女主角李小姐变成了配角，成了工具人，变得莫名其妙起来。
太爱这版倪虹洁，找不到安稳地，就奔赴下一场party。
不知所云
有点李安有点伍迪艾伦但绝对是上海自成一派的元宇宙，在爱情和人际关系中撩拨还与电影互文呈现绝佳的幽默和巧思，剧本和台词都打磨得相当精细，几个演员的演技也高度在线还有不少对电影乃至艺术的揶揄和致敬，很难不喜欢了，国产电影很让人耳目一新的尝试和进步。
把这部电影跟伍迪艾伦相提并论显然是过于抬举这部电影了，但在很多方面确实让我想起彭浩翔的《志明与春娇》，都有对所表现城市内在气质与独特趣味的精准捕捉，同时导演很有自知之明的回避掉更宏大的叙事而专注于个人化的情感体验。我曾经跟朋友开玩笑说彭浩翔努努力是可以朝伍迪艾伦靠近的，但彭浩翔更喜欢卖弄自己的小聪明，他对爱情保持着一种虚无主义的游戏态度，但姿态上总是有一种男性天然的优越感，令人讨厌。而邵艺辉这部电影在观感上是更放松的，导演当然也会说出自己对生活和感情的观察，但姿态上是一种拉家常的平等感，就像最后所有人涂着护手霜看费里尼的《爱情神话》，这种在轻与重之间平衡感的拿捏，是非常绝妙的。
最油膩的其實是配樂，但不妨礙在國產電影維度交出了一份好的成績。對於習慣逃避真實城市風情和缺乏中產描繪的中國商業電影，那份在地性和不做作都挺珍貴，最喜歡的是一些對白的subtext寫法以及結尾周野芒的solo演出，情緒高潮竟是由副線周野芒一人完成，且並不失效，這其實滿破格。兩岸三地女性新導演們在文本角度碾壓男導演們幾乎已是客觀事實。
好喜欢啊！这种调调的中国电影也可以有啊，日常的真实生活和浪漫荒谬，平常人的小心思。
不懂评分为什么高，三星给女演员的演技，这电影看完的感觉就是好像看了什么又好像没看什么。上海话听着好累，不看字幕有的听不懂…
有多好看呢？就是我封这是我2021最喜欢的华语电影！恨不得明年奥斯卡最佳外语片也能有这部一席之地的那种棒！终于有人能把中年人的爱情讲的这么平实有趣不猎奇还带着暖暖的浪漫！
打不出来星就挺好的很巧妙有点浪漫也很好笑但是底色一点喜欢不起来那种人到中年的俗气的必然性就。无法消化一点没意思甚至有点腻心〇
我还是挺喜欢的。有一段老乌自行车乱停的时候有个协警来赶人，老乌一边去停车一边骂骂咧咧，看口型是重新配音了。他实际上讲的是：册那，现在上海人要听苏北人的话了……我在电影院看了笑死，为了这快乐两小时我也要给四星的。 不过也能理解批评这部电影的人，主要还是人物和故事有点轻飘飘，没把内核讲清楚，反而是作为元素的上海文化反客为主成为最大亮点，这些元素服务于内核吗？其实是有点割裂的。而且那肯定是不经讨论的，美化到失真了，所以必然成为争议核心。我朋友说这个片子把上海元素去掉就不行了，深以为然。
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